When Breath Becomes Air

Tonight as I lie down on my bed, my face wet with tears, I am brought to a realization that books about venturing through the phase of inevitable death are books that give such deep insight in the quest of meaning; a searching only those brave enough will want to venture and endure till the end.

Tuesdays with Morrie, The Fault in Our Stars, When Breath Becomes Air; all three share a common ground in explaining what it is like to go through the prospect of dying - not in a mere metaphorical way, but in an honest, bare, and purposeful journey. Some books capture the lives of real people enduring the pain, some books encompass a more personal experience as the author becomes the storyteller of his/her predicament, while other books vividly display the essence of what it means to live or die even by depicting a fictional storyline.

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun

Sesungguhnya dari Allah kita datang dan kepadaNya kita kembali

Kullu nafsin dzaiqatul maut

Setiap yang hidup akan merasakan kematian

As I reflect on the words Paul Kalanithi writes in his book, I find such a deep connection to the setting he placed in it - mostly because I myself am pursuing a medical degree, with the idea of becoming a practicing doctor. Conflicts and dilemmas such as fatigue, long-hours, a wobbly personal relationship between husband and wife, family time and personal growth, all blend in too well with what I have buzzing around my head. If Paul was an ikhwah and was named Abdul instead, I would have bawled from the first page already.

The sacred duty of a physician and a human in search of meaning was a life that Paul continued to expand in his words. And the epilogue written by his wife Lucy, was the one that just broke the dam in my tear ducts, leaving me profusely 'bleeding' salted water from my eyes. This was a tale of how a man ventured into the realm of death, after him being the one delivering the news to his patients of the outcomes and options found after their CT brain scans. And this was a tale of how much an atrocity, an immense and heavy trial, can foster the true essence of what love is all about.

This book is definitely more than just a good read, it's reflective nature brings us to ask really important questions in life. And for me, the biggest take home message was to value the gifts Allah has given you with an enormous sense of gratitude and a dire urgency to utilize them well as all of them gifts have a time limit. Life is more than just the sadness and happiness one face, life is extracting meaning behind those events and connecting it back to the original plan of why it was given to us - those pain, laughter, smiles and tears.

Kerana mereka yg beriman itu adalah mereka yg redha dgn ketentuan Allah kpd mereka. Maka akhirnya Allah meredhai mereka, dan mengurniakan mereka syurga abadi. Where all physical, emotional pain simply doesn't exist.

#tazkiyahseorangsabr