Friday, August 25, 2017

You Prove It By Actions, Not Merely Words

It's burdening
If you don't do it for the sake of Allah
It's going to be tough and hard and tiring
If we just place our strength as the benchmark for our efforts

But it'll be embarassing
If we just spout out an endless stream of words
Yet fail to uphold it with our actions

We'll make ourselves the laughing stock of all mankind
And bring shame to the dai'es around the world

Sometimes I don't even feel like I am worthy to be called an akhwat
When all I do is continuously humiliate myself in front of my Lord and His creation

But as the saying goes,
"Malukan diri depan Allah, menghina diri hanya dibenarkan apabila berhadapan dengan Dia,"
I guess it's enough already
Ranting and complaining
Brutally murdering my self-esteem
And making myself look so petty

Enough should be enough
And happiness, sadness or worth should only be directed to Allah 
Kerana kemuliaan itu datang dari Dia
So why go somewhere else to attain that?

Words can only mean so much
But what we do proves what our principles are







P.S: Leaving the public writing arena utk mantapkan tazkiyatunnafs and keikhlasan. Mohon doa kalian semua :)

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Religion is Not A Commodity

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

7.20pm
1 Zulhijjah 1438H
Lucan

Religion is not a commodity.
Allah did not choose us to be muslims just so that we can reap the benefit of it.
It would be unfair wouldn't it?
For lazy, complacent, irresponsible 'muslims' to be given a place in Jannah just like that.

I am actually very embarrassed of myself as I keep on repeating about the bountiful blessings Allah has bestowed me when I have yet to serve him with the servitude that is so rightfully His.

Banyak cakap pasal syukur tapi badan seolah tidak mengambil ibrah daripada syukur tu
Hati masih lagi merasai berat mahu memikul beban dakwah yang saban hari makin meningkat
Jiwa seolah dihimpit dengan batu besar apabila melangkah semula ke medan jihad bumi Shamrock

Belum cukupkah lagi Allah menunjukkan kuasaNya?

Religion is not a commodity.
Allah doesn't owe us anything.
In actual fact,
We owe Him everything.


Monday, August 21, 2017

Summer Break 2017

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

12.59am
29 Zulkaedah 1438H
Balakong

Another 8 hours till take off, another 8 hours till I embark back to Ireland. It's been an exciting and beautiful journey for my heart as it recuperates from the craziness that happened during my second semester of third year.

I'm planning to write more, but I'll keep this section locked down for the time being as I sleep for tomorrow's early wake. I promise it won't be like my elective posting reflection that I've kept barren for a month already.

*peluh besar*

Please pray that I get this piece done because there's so many people I need to send my appreciation to. Above all, alhamdulillah Ya Rabb for granting me this peace of mind and heart. Thank you Allah for allowing me to have peace with the person that have left me - I learned that nothing was actually lost, it was more of me gaining so much more.

I'll write peeps inshaAllah. Doakan saya! :)

***
11.31pm
29 Zulkaedah 1438H
Lucan

Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah. After 17 hours of flying across continents and rushing through Heathrow Airport, both me and me best pal have safely arrived in Dublin. It feels so surreal to be here inside my murabbi's study room knowing that next week will be start of the new term. 

To begin my appreciation post I will start with a disclaimer

This piece is a personal piece. It's not that I haven't been writing so much about myself and my life that I need to place this disclaimer beforehand, but it's just to remind the many people out there frequenting my blog to know that this particular post is not food for thought so you can skip all this nilly-willy if you're searching for some juicy ideas or opinions. Then again, I invite anyone to read ahead if you feel comfortable enough to delve into my humble circle of gratitude and happiness. Khabar baik dan nikmat Allah kan utk dikongsi dan dimuhasabah bersama? :)

Summer as a whole
It was spectacular subhanallah ^^. It began with a resolve to nurse back my broken heart and allow time for it to heal. I was ready to meet so many sisters and indulge myself in the many plans I've arranged before the summer break began. Some were made to realization, others, were just too unrealistic so it didn't work (haha). Nevertheless, the 3 months were fruitful and eventful. Though not as what I'd expected it to be initially, I believe that all which had happened was the best for me. And that hadaf utk merawat hati dan mengambil semangat akhwat Malaysia was attained - yeayy. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

*senyum*

I'll break down the highlights of my summer break inshaAllah. Here goes..

Ramadhan
I was able to spend the whole length of Ramadhan this year in Malaysia - at home with family. It was a different experience coming home and going through the loops of emotional conquest as I trotted the roads in Malaysia on my own. Feelings of emptiness came as fast as it was negated so there was a constant battle to ensure that my focus was on Ramadhan, not on the hurt that was trying to become even more malignant. I celebrated my birthday during this holy month, alhamdulillah. It was my first year celebrating it 'alone' or so what I'd call it to be. However, during this time that I felt most lonely, Allah decided to sooth me with His words in the Quran, family that were always there and friends who revealed the weight of how much they truly cared. I cried reading the ending of Surah At-Tur and the beginning of Surah Al-Najm as it speaks about how we should be patient towards all that Allah has ordained for us as He is watching. I was even more touched when I read through the part that Allah said, "Apakah manusia akan mendapat segala yang dicita-citakannya? Tidak! Milik Allah-lah kehidupan akhirat dan kehidupan dunia."

*basah*

In this beautiful month as well, I had a breakdown, a meltdown, a period of exuding depressive symptoms. I'd blame myself for all of it because I was the one who signed up for it, yet I was unable to go through the aftermath of what was already entitled to it. I almost lost all hope in men, had trust issues even towards Sayyid Qutb and IHAB. Gosh, it was horrible astaghfirullah. May Allah protect all akhwat from ever having that much of a trust issue with the other gender. I'm glad though that I had my murabbi to vent to, my parents to seek insight from and Allah to cure all that came before, during and after it happened. Alhamdulillah Ramadhan ended with me going to Umrah and that it its entirety deserve another sub-section down here.

Umrah
This was my dream ever since 2014. I wanted to go to Makkah so much that I've always imagined it in my prayers every now and then. Even after coming back, that yearning never actually fades away. Every time I'm reminded of the Holy Land, there's this gush of emotional longing that comes surrounding my chest. It really is remarkable how you'd only remember the goodness of Makkah and Madinah while all the 'challenges' of its environment and people just dim away.

The first time I saw Kaabah, it was so emotional that I just felt like wanting to prostrate right then and there, thanking Allah for the opportunity to finally view His House with my very own eyes. Doing tawaf for 7 times, sa'ie from Safwa to Marwah to and fro another 7 times, just being in Masjidilharam itself was so soothing that I really didn't want to leave at all. But alas, we came here on a family trip, so what's more important is to keep the essence of going to umrah with family - not by myself, not just for my own sake.


Alhamdulillah we were able to do all the three umrah sessions with our mutawif as a group well. Good job for the whole fam! *wink2*'

However, we weren't able to do much ibadah sunat; iktikaf, tawaf sunat, solat sunat and the likes, there wasn't much opportunity for this because we're all quite sick. Mom was coughing terribly, Dad had fever, Ammar and I also had the nights when we became ill but Adik, of all people (she has asthma kot) was fine throughout the 14 days. We experienced the many trials of iman as a family and we succeeded through it as a family. Alhamdulillah ya Rabb, I am blessed so, so, much I dunno what to say anymore as those 2 weeks ended for us.


One of the trials that has haunted me throughout the trip was about my past feelings that have yet to fade away. On the first week of umrah, it was the first week of Syawal. Everyone was excited updating their Raya pics on social media. Me, being utterly dense, went on Instagram and found images of what I shouldn't be seeing. That caused a roller-coaster ride of tears and disappointment that I could not contain on my own. I made a special du'a, I need to move on and I need to pray for that person's betterment. (I cannot be jahat la I dunno why, Sabr please die haha) Besides, I have even better things to focus on, better and bigger missions to fulfill with the life Allah gave me. I am made for better, not just all this emotional rubbish I feed my mind with.

The length of stay in Haramain then came to an end, together with all the uneasiness I had in me regarding what had happened above. I was given the light, I was shown the way. And for some reasons, I knew that my future was never with him.

Elective posting
This was soooooo interesting I will not change my three weeks with something else - other than to do tarbiyyah-related stuff - even if I was given the chance to. Being in PPUM, studying in the wards and attending seminars in the building was like a dream come true. I've always adored Universiti Malaya since I was a child. With dad working in PPUM and all three of us being born there, there was like an attachment to the place that I felt so close to it since my younger years. I had to pay RM600 for those three weeks of elective posting, so if I can suggest other people, maybe choose KKM hospitals instead for your elective posting because this one costs a Gold Mine [exaggerating]. Nevertheless, the opportunity to attend psychiatric clinics, meet real patients with mental illness, seeing how methadone clinics are done and tagging along with the docs + profs + med students were amazing. Everyone was so helpful. Every week Wen Tzien would send me a full list of what topics will be covered during our seminars and case conferences. Every week Prof Koh would drill us on H&P skills that we'd feel exhausted after the 2 hour tutorial - twice! And every week, I get to study in the MedFac Library which is my fav spot to just doze off or read really thick medical books.

Fav library sebab tak ramai orang (haha)
The best team I can ever ask for, with the kindest Prof Koh. #sisrindu
Psychiatry to me is like a calling. It feels so natural once you get the hang of it. I like how the questions we probe patients would eventually lead to the diagnosis. I am fascinated to learn more about the reward centre of the brain and how it over-reacting can lead to addiction. To learn my first clinical psychiatry in one of favourite local hospital just makes my enthusiasm sky-rocket to the top.

Or maybe that's just me, crazy enthusiastic over new knowledge.
*laughs*

They say to find something that you like and choose that for your elective posting. But if you're anything like me, who knows that unknown specialty could actually be your most favourite right?

Brunei, Bohey Dulang, Sabah and all things Tarbiyyah
Love, love, love and more love.
My lifeline gais, my lifeline.

Brunei

DKDP

Bohey Dulang

I think Allah knew so well that my life, in its entirety, would just go to ruins if I wasn't place in gerabak Dakwah and Tarbiyyah. I've told myself countless of times and am truly convinced that life ahead would be dark, terrible and grim if I wasn't placed here. This however, doesn't mean that it's all sunshines and rainbows when we talk about tarbiyyah. Despite the increase zeal and passion I have whenever this topic comes to attention, life with the sisters in DnT is no walk in the park. To achieve the sweetness of jihad, one must first understand the reason behind such struggle, be willing to struggle and continue to be a part of that struggle with or without achieving any tangible results at hand.

Being here, my faith and principles were put to the test. And it was no simple test I tell you. Choices needed to be made, sleep and money needed to be sacrificed, preference and comfort needed to be put at the side, plus many other miscellaneous items that are yet to be listed here. It was harder seeing how my parents would frown at my decisions, but what needs to be done, needs to be done. (Balik prog come back home and clean the house and see what I mean when I say we ain't got no time to waste peeps huhu)

It's my second year visiting Sabah and all the lovely souls there. It feels as though we're so close now as I view their Whatsapp status and get their Hi-s and Hello-s whenever mine just sound like I'm down in the dumps. Kak Ana has always been that welcoming, saving grace everytime we sound like a bunch of lost chickens not knowing what to do or where to head off with all the plans in our head. Although we didn't actually set foot at Bohey Dulang, Sibuan and Matabuan were still two beautiful islands with clear blue sea that the akhwats definitely enjoyed. My best try at being 'pro-active' was lying on my back as I float through the waters with my face tanning (more like getting scorched) under the heated sun. Yes, I didn't do any snorkeling, please don't hate haha.

I enjoyed the stars and the warmth of the company I had with me. We shared stories and ideas, sat down in circles and just savoured the moment together as we listen to Kak Azwa sharing her advices when it came to being frontliners at our own waqi'.

This summer, I was able to become a muwajih for 3 different topics in which the last one was quite a challenge. I enjoyed every bit of it, the process of brainstorming and finding the correct points to suit my audience, the delivery of my speech, and the feedback I received - good or bad. It enhanced my skills and the way at how I look into giving out a particular topic. No longer was it a syok-sendiri kind of talk, banyak kena sucikan niat, banyak kena muhasabah dan mintak bantuan Allah, banyak kena analyse and fikir apa cara terbaik utk hit point supaya kata-kata kita berkesan. Dan yang paling penting is that the words lahir daripada hati nurani org beriman yang suci.

The most important thing that I've learned was about sacrifice. Every year, it's the same theme but always with new lessons to learn from. As we grow older in tarbiyyah, we'll be given even bigger mas'uliyyat. And with great power, comes great responsibility. There's no room to mess up because we know the gravity it holds when we do. We have more mad'u to cater, more people to think and care about - so mutabaah amal kena jaga lagi rapi. Hafazan kena tingkatkan, bacaan kena up lagi, tsaqafah kena tinggi, akhlak kena jaga. Mau pitam jugakla kalau all these increased weight of duty is placed on a weak heart.

"Sy syg awk tp sy x bersetuju ape2 tindkn dahulukan benda lain berbanding dnt... sy doakan awk kuat dan sy kuat utk dahulukan dnt drpd apa2 kerisauan yg lain... amien"
- Kak Ana -

It's not an easy path.
Dan kekuatan itu bukan lahir daripada hati yg lemah ini semata.
Allah-lah yg memberi segala kudrat tu
Seriously, no joke peeps

p.s: I love my usrahmates and murabbi. <3 <3

Family
I love them. From my parents to my siblings to my grandparents and to my relatives. I have finally learned the value of blood ties and family relationship. Took me long enough to had that embedded in me, took me long enough to even begin cherishing these bonds that I have only known to dislike in my yesteryear. Please ya Rabb, I hope I can do my best to serve them in Dunya and secure them a place in Jannah. 





Friends
During this summer break, I was able to meet with a number of my friends, let it be those that I'm close to or not. I met friends whom I've never seen for years, talked on the phone for hours with those that I've only been in contact through social media and went to two weddings (alhamdulillah Allah sempatkan). I've seen how a friend can sacrifice and how a friend truly cares. Patience, persistence and honesty was displayed in one of the friends I have known which I hope one day will pay off for that person. Give them goodness ya Rabb, only goodness in this life and the next.

All in all, I think I owe this post more colour and pictures but I'll leave it to be until Ukashah gives me time to decorate this piece. Till then, I pray Allah grants me steadfastness to always choose Him and DnT first above all else. I pray Allah allows us to be His slaves and soldiers till our death arrives to us, and I pray Allah guides us to be the best version of ourselves in the many things we will do in life.

Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah for this year's summer break.
Jazakumullahu khayran katheera for all that has coloured my days back home in Malaysia.

:)

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Sampai Bila Lagi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

9.00pm
22 Zulkaedah 1438H
Balakong

This is a cry. A cry to all people out there that I need help to fold up the clothes piled up on my family sofa.

*kidding*

Nevertheless, this is more than just a cry. This is a scream, a loud one, that if I can actually vocalize the volume of this post, I would end up losing all of my voice in one shot.

On the news today, there was some coverage with regards to the Nothing To Hide 2.0 forum held in Dewan Raja Muda, Shah Alam. Unable to fully listen to the news update, I opted to find some videos regarding the issue on Youtube - not really knowing that it actually caused an uproar. The situation was so heated, there were chairs flying and lights flaring with smoke, people were fighting inside and outside of the hall, it was chaos. Reading articles regarding the event on the internet makes me feel so unsettled. 

Several days ago, Pindaan Akta 164 with regards to divorce issues between couples (in which one of them reverts back to being a muslim) has been passed. And with the passing of this act, children of the married couple will continue to follow the initial religion that funded the marriage before one of the parent reverted. The religion of the child will then be decided after they reach the age of 18, with the agreement of both parents. Sounds fair, if we follow the way 'human-rights activist' put it in front of us. And like it or not, the way we think is actually bit by bit following the way that of a 'human-rights' view as compared to how the Quran and Sunnah shapes it to be.

Before this change is implemented, the religious status of a minor below the age of 18 was as follow. 




Rupanya dalam nak 'memartabatkan Islam', we allow another right to overthrow the syariat of Islam. Bukankah kemuliaan Islam melebihi segala yg lain? Bukankah masuk Islam tu secara keseluruhan?

*pening*

Not to mention the incest case that has been going viral regarding the 37 year-old father facing 632 sexual assault charges towards her 15 year-old daughter, in which he has committed these detestable acts for the span of two years. That's awfully a ridiculous, abominable thing to do to a young girl especially to your own blood. She was the age of my sister when all these monstrous abuse came to her, by the man she calls father nonetheless. I am disgusted, so disgusted at how shaytan is able to place us at an even more savage level than that of animals. 

And then there's the rising case of Islamophobia all around the European countries, the never-ending manipulating of how a 'modernised' Muslim should be like by the Western media and the label of terrorism being connected to (even) practicing Muslims by the global community at large. In today's world, Rasulullah's hadith is clearly being set into play.

From Thawban r.a,
Rasulullah saw said,
"The nations are about to call each other and set upon you, just as diners set upon food." It was said; "Will it be because of our small number that day?" He said; "Rather, on that day you will be many, but you will be like foam, like the foam on the river. And Allah will remove the fear of you from the hearts of your enemies and will throw wahn (weakness) into your hearts." Someone said; "O Rasulullah! What is wahn?" He said; "Love of the world and hatred of death."
(Sahih: Related by Abu Dawud (no. 4297), Ibn 'Asakirin in Tarikh Dimashq (2/97/8) and others. It was authenticated by Al-Albani in As-Sahihah (n0. 958))

Looking at the numerous issues between muslims in their own native land, the conflict between leaders (who are muslims but are fighting for their own safety, wealth and greed), the poverty impacting on muslim-populated countries, the oppression of muslims in the muslim-minority countries, it's just too much. If somebody asks me where can we go to do a Qadhaya Umat session at my place, I'd tell them to just come over on a Friday during the time for Friday prayers and just observe the school kids on the field in front of my house. We're not talking about not attending the Friday prayers, we're talking something even more extreme than that. Smoking, intimate 'projects', truancy, maybe even drugs. Who knows what's happening beyond the trees and bushes.

*cry*

Sampai bila lagi?
Sampai bila lagi nak tengok and buat tak tahu?

I don't get it you know. Everyone is either putting a blind eye on the current issue or are just trying to cure the symptoms of this plague. It's not only hedonisme, it's not just secularisme, atheism itself has come to our nation, trying (and succeeding to a degree) to rot our humble muslim foundation. Budaya ketimuran itself has lost the place in today's modern Malaysia.

Our clothes, our speech, they way we walk, the way we think, the way we mingle - everything and anything is being sucked into the whirlpool of jahiliyah.

I know we're trying hard to be a better country, I know the youth are creating multiple events and innovations and programs at handling the problems we are facing in Malaysia. But actually, is it helping to solve the imminent crisis we are facing as a local rakyat, and a global citizen?

Teaching kids, motivating them to speak English and following their dreams is an inspiring effort. But are we actually opening the chance for them to find Allah first before we start introducing them to the English love songs and romantic movies? Is the dream that we so heartily encouraging them to achieve become something that can provide them an escape route from the rat race of going to work, getting more money, going to work and just being rich?

Providing food for the homeless, going for humanitarian aid in foreign countries and raising awareness for public health. How long can we provide before we go nil? How much can we give if it's just in the form of bulk items? Are we even able to change much of their condition or are we just prolonging their life but not their suffering?

The system is bonkers. The system we're living in, the system that's governing us is just rotten. I'm not talking about all the crimes of rape, murder, corruption and robbery. There is a far bigger crime that is happening to us and yet we have fail to actually achieve any realisation of it.

We fail to recognize that we're allowing jahiliyah and shaytan to govern our lives.

The policy, the regulation, the state affairs - everything is well planned by those who are fighting for shaytan. And they themselves might not even know this. Tell me, if all humans were made for goodness, who whispers them into doing the wrong? Do you think anybody was born to kill? Do you think any child came out of the mother's womb crying asking for a gun, already painted with an Evil label on their forehead?

If we say that a person is influenced by their childhood and pre-disposing behaviours of their parents, what actually caused their childhood to be filled with abuse and mishandle? Who made their parents succumb to drugs and alcoholism? What caused them to beat their child up? What made someone so filled with bloodlust and greed for money?

Kalau bukan sistem jahiliyah, apa lagi?
Kalau bukan shaytan, apa lagi?
Kalau bukan manusia tak bertuhan, yang degilnya jauh lagi teruk daripada iblis, apa lagi?

Don't tell me this has nothing to do with us. Don't tell me that we have no share in what's happening to the world. Don't tell me you can just finish reading this and not care at all about the world we're living in today.

Because like it or not, it's already creeping into our homes. Into our TVs, into our phones. Let's face it, pornography, wasteful movies/tv shows and lustful entertainment are just a click away. In fact, they are served in front of our doorsteps, waiting for our eyes to feast on them. Before long, we crave for more and eventually resulting in our time being so faithfully 'invested' on these ridiculous imagery of what 'true' happiness is. We've all been victims of it, maybe we still are. And you know what these continuous fiction is feeding our mind - rubbish. We fall prey to them, and finally it causes us to drown in our own stupidity. We start cutting ourselves when we're not happy, even our definition of happy is so skewed to only fit what the limits of the temporary world can offer. We want our spouses to act in this and that kind of manner, and if they fail to uphold the standards, we just drop the relationship. Family ties are broken because of this so-called heroism in the name of love, children out of wedlock are being born everyday. Because of what? Because of all this rubbish we're selling and receiving from the media.

Socially, we're beaten by jahiliyah.
Politically, don't let me even start, there's just too much damage.
Economically, goodness me, we're all in a rat race like it or not.
Emotionally, physically, every single piece of our thoughts, mind and body are being scorched by the flames of jahiliyah.

And yet we stay silent.
And yet we remain in our own bubble.

Until,
We become numb.

Lads,
Peeps,
Gais,
There is an even bigger danger that we need to curb. Even more bigger than illiteracy, poverty and health-related diseases.

Like it or not, either you want to accept it or not,
We have a problem of God-fearing.
Of iman, of taqwa.

Now is no longer Gold, Gospel and Glory. Now is No God, YOLO and sex (didn't want to type it but this is serious talk man). Jahiliyah is just wanting to crush our every being, and it knows no religion. Because Iblis dah kata kan, that the war he's going to inflict on us covers the whole of mankind, the whole of Allah's creation called humans.

[Iblees] said, "Do You see this one whom you have honoured above me? If You delay me until the Day of Resurrection, I will surely destroy his descendants, except for a few."
(Surah Al-Isra', 17:62)

Thus, if we don't go back to Allah, how are we even actually going to survive?

I'm not asking you to stop studying for that degree or masters or PhD or whatever.
I'm not asking you to stop volunteering or help your parents or visit your relatives.
I'm not asking you to run away and sit in a cave and muhasabah sampai mati.
I'm not asking you to not attend those leadership programs, debate championships and innovative camps.

I'm asking you to see the bigger picture and act accordingly to save the more important side of things. Yes, we all have a place in this world and we all have our expertise. But we all, also, should have one common goal - which is to buat kerja 'abid dan khalifah tuh. To be His 'abid and His caliph is the more important job that we need to serve, and we need to do it truly because of Him and none other. Kurangnya ikhlas dalam diri kita, kurangnya Allah dalam hati kita, akan menyebabkan banyaknya dunia dan nafsu yang menjadi kompas hidup. And this is the reason why we're all leading to doom.

Because we forgot our true purpose.

Wake up people, sampai bila lagi nak tidur?
Especially kawan-kawan overseas, especially kawan-kawan yang pandai-pandai belajar tinggi-tinggi Political Sciences, Law, Economics bagai. You lads will be the one to shape the policy of our nation, and all us other professionals will have to succumb to whatever national enactment, law or regulation you place forth for us. I need all of you, especially the friends yang banyak sangat logam kepimpinan ni to wake up and please understand that this is no longer just about perfecting that CV, that dream car, that 4 pretty model-looking wives or that prestigious PhD.

It's about the ummah.
And we're the ones that has been chosen to safeguard it.

Sampai bila lagi?
Takkan nak tunggu anak sendiri jadi bohsia baru nak bergerak?








Disclaimer: This is a personal opinion, however this is one I would like to share for everyone to think about. I am not a critical analyst that has the capability of going through statistics or hundreds of article, but on the more general side of things, I hope I am able to do justice to what's happening around the world as I cry out for help from my many friends that are reading this piece.

Ayuh berborak dengan saya supaya kita boleh perkasakan ummah inshaAllah.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Dear No One

You might be hidden from me now
Or maybe you're just right there
But what is meant to be will always find a way
And Allah would always have His way first

May our story intertwine
Dan moga ia menjadi kisah sebuah perjuangan
Perjuangan menunaikan hak bumi
Dan perjuangan menggapai mardhatillah

Sincerely,
Sabr


Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Leaving

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

12.17am
17 Zulqaedah 1438H
Klebang

I'm leaving Klebang in another 9 hours and because of that I'm sleeping with Tokpuan and Tokyah for the last time before I end my summer holidays. For the past 4 days being in Malacca, there has been so many tales tht I would actually like to share. From serabut fikir pasal tarbiyah UKE till family matters and personal struggles, there really is so much bottled thoughts and emotions lingering around me that eventually they would face either one of the two fates - fading or being expressed.

I'm leaving Tokpuan and Tokyah tomorrow, just the two of them in this spacious house with empty rooms. This might be unnecesary worry, but I wonder if I'll get to see them again after this summer. Sounds melancholic, but day after day as I watch them age, the inevitable draws closer and closer. 

Protect them Ya Rabb
They're one of my most precious

:'

Seorang rijal harus sentiasa bersedia
And leaving family is a huge part of that jihad

Gonna be missing my backbones here in Malaysia
Thus, to commemorate my another-12-days-before-departure I'll promise to at least write up a summary of this summer break (haha)
May Allah give me the strength, time and drive to complete tht final piece before I leave to Ireland inshaAllah!

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

A Recitation

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

This is a recitation of the poem I wrote in March 2014. I'm not really good at reciting, but after 3 years since this piece was created, I only found truth in the words my former self penned down.

Why the recitation?
Well, for our jaulah last weekend we had to recite a personal poem describing how we felt about tarbiyah. I wasn't able to create anything new, so I searched through my time-capsule and found this post written. Never really knowing that this definitely portrayed my thoughts and feelings so well. And since Kak Hira is asking me to give a recording of my recitation, I figured that I might as well share it will all of you out there.

Here goes.