Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful
It feels refreshing to finally be able to push myself to write back again
To put down my thoughts into words, to have them displayed on the screen
Alhamdulillah everyone, I survived 2 postings in housemanship
And here I am in my in my 3rd posting - already in the second month
Subhanallah, all praises be to Allah for granting me strength and ease
It is not an easy road, and I have been humbled day in and day out since Day 1 of HOship
And on this month, Amer and I are 20 months into our marriage - another 4 months before our 2 year wedding anniversary. Subhanallah walhamdulillah. Allah is ever so Merciful and gracious towards us in this blessed journey. We do have our share of fights and disagreements, but none are to the point of attacking each other in the process. Hamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah.
Throughout my time of hiatus, I have had so many thoughts running around my head
Grievances for my own lacking of mujahadah
Disappointment on my lack of enthusiasm and passion / amal
Blooming ideas of plans and projects (that never made it into reality sadly)
Hopes, dreams and wishes only painted in the mind and never into something tangible (yet)
But today, I decided to stop being that lazy bum Sabreena - the one that always blames her never-ending work as a HO as a reason to slack off
I decided that today I will do something different, pick up something that I have always loved to do yet had always find an excuse to put on hold
Today, I am writing so that I may live a new life
A life no longer as the dreaded HO
But a life as an 'abid and khalifah
A life I have promised Allah even before I was created into this world
Moga Allah hidupkan kembali hati ini
Moga Allah sudi merawatnya agar ia kembali mekar untuk memperjuangkan agama suci ini
Moga hati ini subur dengan iman dan taqwa, jihad dan ikhlas
Moga niatku benar, dan moga Kau membenarkannya Ya Rabb
"Dan di antara tanda-tanda kekuasaanNya, engkau melihat bumi kosong sepi (dalam keadaan kering dan tandus), maka apabila Kami menurunkan hujan menimpanya, bergeraklah tanahnya serta suburlah tanamannya. Sesungguhnya Allah yang menghidupkannya sudah tentu berkuasa menghidupkan makhluk-makhluk yang telah mati; sesungguhnya Ia Maha Kuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu."
(Surah Fussilat, 41:39)
