In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful
16 Syaaban 1440H
11.20pm
Galway
"Apakah manusia mengira bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan hanya dengan mengatakan 'Kami telah beriman,' dan mereka tidak diuji?"
(Surah al-Ankabut, 29:2)
"Apakah kamu mengira bahwa kamu akan masuk syurga, padahal belum nyata bagi Allah orang-orang yang berjihad di antara kamu, dan belum nyata orang-orang yang sabar."
(Surah ali-Imran, 3:142)
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| Credits: Amalina Halim |
More than one week has passed since my final exams ended. And 2 days has passed since we ended our 1-week daurah with Ustaz Kamaru Salam (he writes books and they're amazing subhanallah). Time has gone by so quickly, it almost feels like a dream having back-to-back pengisian with ustaz - from UK to Ireland.
Daurah diri sendiri yang terakhir di UKE.
*sniff*
Sebak pulak tetiba.
I had an endless string of words planned to be typed down in this canvas earlier this morning, but now - as usual - I seem to be stunned in front of the computer. Maybe it's because of this melancholic BGM that I'm playing on my earphone, makes me want to cry over the rapid movement of time.
Whenever I want to write about dakwah, a small part of me says that I don't have the capacity and the capability to come up with a good piece that can be of any justice to Dakwah and Tarbiyah. I look at myself as the most lowly of creature to be able to bask in Allah's Glory everyday - bersama Quran, bersama Islam. Tak layak, sungguh tak layak. I am a sinful human being, yet Allah still choose me day in and day out untuk melaksanakan tugas sebagai 'manusia'; as His 'abid and caliph.
For the fact that this piece is to commemorate and reflect on bahan-bahan yang dapat waktu daurah lepas, I can't help but feel anxious about it. I can never write as freely as I like to anymore, and not that I mind about it to be honest. I want to make sure that my words will be able to paint an imagery, an understanding, a memory, that can be etched deep within those that read my post - especially myself. Moga Allah benarkan niat yang baik, buang niat yang buruk dan sertakan barakah dalam tulisan kali ini.
**
First and foremost, I will start by listing down the topics that I had gone through. Ustaz just went through them briefly, ensuring that we get the gist of every topic without causing us to drown in the technicalities of each.
- Tadabbur Surah at-Taubah, 9:38-59
- Dzatiyah Dakwiyah
- Fikrah Islamiyah Kita
- Fikrah VS Ilmu
- Tafsir Surah An-Nas, Surah Al-Fiil, Surah Al-Kafirun
- Mabadi' Tadris Ulum Diiniyah: Muhibb
- Usul 20: Usul 1-10
- Golongan yang Tercicir
- MR: Kearah Mana Kita Menyeru Manusia
Now that I've listed them all down, it sure looks like an amazing list indeed. Seolah Allah memberi barakah kepada masa dan usaha kami dalam duduk-duduk kali ini. We were even able to go to a carboot sale and have breakfast together at Cafe Nero in between. MashaAllah, subhanallah.
And the pengisian that hit me the most was the tadabbur from Surah at-Taubah. After having to go through weeks and months of 'kekeringan', ada juga timbul a small hint of heaviness untuk terus ke daurah kali ni right after we finished our exam - like literally. That being said, however, kata-kata Allah dalam Surah as-Syarh kept reminding me that I shouldn't.
"Kemudian apabila kamu sudah selesai (daripada sesuatu amal soleh), maka bersungguh-sungguhlah engkau berusaha (mengerjakan amal soleh yang lain)."
(Surah as-Syarh, 94:7)
So I packed my bags dalam keadaan perut sakit memulas-mulas and went to the airport on Friday, 12th April for my flight to Southampton with full faith that Allah knows best. I needed to bersusah sikit, been having usrah online for such a long time until I forgot the sweetness of mujahadah. The next day, with F (my beloved mutarabbi), we boarded a train from Southampton heading to Nottingham at 5am in the morning. It was my first short jaulah after so long being coped inside my home in Galway. It was refreshing subhanallah.
We had our daurah this time around at Nottingham Central Mosque for 4 days straight and we spent our nights sleeping in the masjid. I enjoyed my time there very much and I think my adik-adik have grown so much to see them able to handle many of the things themselves. Though there's still room for improvement, I am very proud of their progress. Macam ni la eh rupanya perasaan murabbi melihat adik-adik dibawahnya membesar sedikit demi sedikit, seperti bahagianya Rasulullah melihat para sahabatnya makin mendalam keimanannya kepada Allah dan Rasul. The happiness is indescribable really.
"...Demikianlah sifat mereka yang tersebut di dalam Kitab Taurat; dan sifat mereka di dalam Kita Injil pula ialah sebagai pokok tanaman yang mengeluarkan anak tunasnya, lalu anak tunasnya itu menyubur, sehingga ia menjadi kuat lalu ia tegap berdiri di atas (pangkal) batangnya dengan keadaan yang mengkagumkan orang-orang yang menanamnya..."
(Surah al-Fath, 48:29)
Going back to the tadabbur of Surah at-Taubah verses 38-59, ayat-ayat yang terkandung dalam surah tu mempunyai peringatan yang kuat kepada orang beriman yang lambat mahu menyambut seruan untuk berjihad walaupun mereka sudah sedia maklum tentang keperluan untuk menyahut seruan tersebut. Since the surah is a Madani surah, it shows that the teachings brought in this collection of ayahs are related to an established muslim community in Madinah. Once dapat this tadabbur, terus rasa macam, "This is it. There's no need to continue anything else. This is the hit, the reminder to wake me up from my deep slumber and paralysis." To describe the whole teaching of the ayahs would be very lengthy here but in a nutshell, it was a huge slap in the face for me. Persoalan yang Allah petik dalam ayat 38 was like a sarcastic question, yet a humbling one seolah-olah nak tanya, "Eh bukan ke kau orang beriman, kenapa masih lagi berat nak berjuang?" Then ayat-ayat susulan selepas tu were all like raining comets and meteors kepada hati seorang Sabr. Kalau tak nak jugak berjihad, Allah akan azab dan Allah akan gantikan kamu dengan yang lain.
Gantikan. Dengan. Yang lain.
Allah dah tak nak kat aku?
Allah dah tak nak pilih aku?
That hit the jackpot. I cannot live without Allah, I don't want to, and I simply can't.
My life without Islam will be nothing. If my identity as a muslim is stripped away from me, what do I have left?
If I didn't want that to happen, then the only option is untuk bangun dan berjihad. Bangun dan menapak hari-hari yang akan mendatang.
"Pergilah kamu beramai-ramai (berjihad di jalan Allah), sama ada dalam keadaan ringan atau dalam keadaan berat; dan berjihadlah dengan harta dan jiwa kamu pada jalan Allah. Yang demikian amatlah baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui."
(Surah at-Taubah, 9:41)
Ayat paling koman dapat bila rasa berat nak pergi daurah zaman KMB dulu. Akhwat akan selalu share, reflect and tadabbur on this ayat. Ayat yang akan selalu terpacul dari mulut bila nak ingatkan adik-adik untuk turun pergi daurah dan buat dakwah.
But when ustaz went through this ayah, it was as though I have never heard it before.
Seruan infiru.
Seperti seruan untuk bernafas dengan nafas yang baru.
I found it. I got it.
Ya Allah, it's as though You've rescued me from the sea of slumber that I'm drowning in. I am reminded of my purpose again, the sole reason why I'm here in this world, the reason why I battled my heartbreak 2 years ago and sacrificed my feelings, destroying any desire left I have for what I thought was mine. It was for You. Only for You.
And the past 8 days acted as the best remedy to jump-start my already dead heart. Macam kena cardiac defibrillation after a VFib (lols lawak medic sangat).
Untuk dakwah menang, perlu ada pengorbanan.
Seperti mana Rasulullah berkorban for 23 years once baginda dapat wahyu.
"Sudah berlalu masa tidurku," kata baginda.
Sebagaimana para sahabat sanggup melalui kepayahan meninggalkan kesenangan dunia, keselesaan bersama suami-isteri dan anak-anak,
Sebagaimana para ulama', para daie zaman berzaman yang keluar daripada norma masyarakat yang hanyut dalam nikmat dunia.
Dakwah kat overseas dulu pernah subur sangat-sangat
UK,
Ireland,
US,
Canada,
Russia,
Germany,
France,
Jepun,
Korea,
China,
Mesir,
Jordan,
New Zealand,
Australia,
Semua ada rijal-rijal mereka tersendiri.
Ikhwat, akhwat yang sangat ikhlas pada dakwah ini, berusaha betul-betul untuk menjaga syiar Islam.
Kini, walau mereka sudah tiada dan walau cahaya Islam pada pelajar muslim Malaysia makin malap,
Aku yakin
Dengan sepenuhnya
Bahawa ia hanya gerhana
Bukan terbenamnya matahari.
There'll be a day where Islam will merge victorious again.
Where the muslim youth will rise forth, dengan penuh izzah dan bangga terhadap deen yang dibawanya.
Permulaan dakwah overseas lahir daripada keikhlasan dan kesungguhan seorang murabbi
Yang tidak kenal erti putus asa
Yang hubungannya kuat dengan Allah
Yang tawakkal hebat
Yang usahanya tidak kenal penat lelah
Yang usahanya tidak kenal penat lelah
Walaupun tak pernah merasai zaman agung dakwah overseas yang subur itu
I've learned so, so much
And with the time left
I will do my best to not disappoint Allah, and ensure that the opportunity He gave me will be used to the max
To many more days with gerabak dakwah dan tarbiyah
Happy days, sad days, colourful days, gloomy days
And especially,
Days with Allah.
