Murabbi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

1.53pm
3 Zulkaedah 1438H
Psychiatric Department UMMC

Tomorrow will be the last day of my elective posting here, and to tell you the truth, half of me feels kinda sad to leave this bunch of people that have been helping me experience the best out of psychiatric rotation for the last 3 weeks. The other half feels relieved because I wouldn't need to restrain my eyes and headaches no longer whenever I feel like dozing off. Currently I'm in the Seminar Room waiting for the next presentation to begin - the last for the week. Like I've said in my previous post, I have had so many going up in my head; so many stories, so many experiences and so many opinions to share in this blog. But as always, every time I'd want to write, I would either have something else that urgently needs to be finished or I'd be too tired to type anything as I doze off earlier than my usual bedtime of 1am.

Coming back from Brunei 4 days ago, going through risalah Antara Semalam dan Hari Ini and spending time with akhwats + asatizah really has been a memorable and exciting experience for me. Also, it has brought a tremendous realization that my responsibilities in this world needs to be carried out seriously as a part of materializing my faith - tugas a'bid dan khalifah. IHAB has written the risalah on the year 1943 after a massive raid has been done across Egypt to capture the members of Ikhwanul Muslimin. Knowing that this atrocity will eventually befallen him as well, Hasan Al-Banna wrote this particular piece and gave it to his driver. Originally, this risalah did not have a name. And so, IHAB's driver called it as 'Al-Wasiat'; a will, written by IHAB before he himself face the fate of imprisonment like so many other ikhwans at the time. Fortunately, that did not happen. Thus, one way or another the risalah was then named Bainal Yaum wal Ams (Antara Semalam dan Hari Ini).

5 years later, IHAB passed away as a syahid as he was murdered at the prime age of 42, leaving behind a wife and 5 children; one yet to be born. Death, in all it's reality, is inevitable.

IHAB lived a life giving more than any present, normal human being could have done. He lived a meaningful, purposeful and eventful life.

And looking at the piece in my hand, the man giving out the explanation about it will also leave all of us behind. My first time meeting him was so surreal, I felt so honoured to listen to his taujih up front. I look to my side, the akhwat in maroon that I've respected so much, the one that never gave up on me eventhough I was a mess back in April - she too shall pass as well. I remembered Kak Siha in Dublin, her not having any proper wasilah tarbiyah to attend for the past 2 years, with her masters and MRCP to figure, Ukashah and her zauj to care for but she still took us 6 rebellious souls under her wing no matter how tattered she already was. All these prominent figures, my backbone, my teachers, my guides, they will also face death, like that of Hasan Al-Banna, like that of Rasulullah.

Thinking about a world where they won't be around anymore to seek advice, to ask for recordings, to just send really funny text messages and talk over isu BM, I'd really cry my eyes out. I don't even know if I will be bestowed the chance to still be in DnT, or if they will still want to carry on this path in the days to come. Ramai yang dah datang dan pergi. Ramai yang baru melangkah tiba-tiba sudah lari, bahkan ada juga yang bertahun, yang jauh lagi qawwiy daripada diri ini, tetapi kini susuk itu sudah tiada. We can choose, but ultimately Allah chooses. And I fear so much if one day Allah ceases to choose me, untuk disucikan, untuk ditenyeh segala kotoran jahiliyah, untuk dihentak dan di-smash smpai lunyai segala ego dan syahwat al-hawa'...untuk diberikan tugas mengagungkan Deen yang telah Dia muliakan aku dengan.

Manusia akan pergi meninggalkan kita, teman.
Tetapi
Ketahuilah bahawa Allah tidak sebegitu.
Dialah Murabbi Agung kita
Bahkan dari Dialah lahir tarbiyyah rabbani ini

Buat murabbi seisi dunia
Buat ikhwah akhwat yang tidak pernah lekang dalam usaha dakwahnya
Buat mutarabbi yang aku kasihi
Buat hati-hati yang baru disentuh
Buat jiwa-jiwa yang ikhlas mahu menjadi hamba
Moga Allah kekalkan kita dengan fikrah Islam yang sebenar
Dalam segenap aspek hidup kita
Dan moga kita dikurniakan taufiq untuk kekal beramal dengannya
Sehingga Izrail datang memanggil

Terimalah amal kami
Terimalah amal murabbi kami
Terimalah amal para sahabat, tabi'in, tabi' tabi'in
Terimalah amal salafussoleh
Terimalah amal mereka yang telah membawa kami kepada Islam

Bersama usaha mereka, dan izinMu, aku ketemu cara utk hidup dengan sebenar-benarnya.
And this is such an honourable privilege to be a part of susur galur mereka yang membawa obor dakwah para anbiya'

:)

Akhwat paling inspiring :'|

Sayangilah murabbi anda gais. Huhu