Late Night Thoughts

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

1.00am
24 Syawal 1438H
Balakong

I have been thinking a lot lately.
From personal issues to the state of the world we live today, they're so many things roaming my head.
But I'm glad, because I'm finally progressing from my grief, as I come to the last stage of it inshaAllah.
Alhamdulillah.

There's 5 stages of grief.
Stage 1: Denial
Stage 2: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 4: Depression
Stage 5: Acceptance

I'd like to elaborate more, but it'll take a long time to engage in the subject matter and produce any substantial writing. Just to note an interesting fact that I have experienced myself though - the time taken for me to go through the 5 stages was around 3-4 months, almost like the length of time for a woman's iddah after being divorced by her husband or after his death. Amazing, innit?  Anyhow, as for now, I have to attend to my preparation for this weekend's daurah and next week's jaulah, still having to study as per usual everyday for my psychiatric attachment in PPUM.

I have a list of items to read and prepare, only finishing one item from the checklist. That's fine really, it's a blessing working and studying and being single. For now, this is my medan amal, and no one will be able to execute what I can do for the world I'm living in today.

I know one thing for sure, I was allowed to pass my third year, sent to umrah and finally able to accept my 'loss' because Allah is planning to position me at a spot where I can shine the most and provide the maximum benefit I can for my akhirah, for the ummah. Thus, I need to benefit the 24 hours Allah gives me before getting myself worked up about the future.

This is my belief. It is by far, not a delusion.

One day, maybe I'll use the app that allows you to convert voice projections to written words and finally get myself to write a book from the myriad of thoughts I have roaming around daily. Typing is better though, always the best option.

I feel sad for actually thinking that I might be updating less (no more one day, one update huhu) because of the focus I need to provide in order to get my tasks done. I do hope however, that the next time I write, I'll be able to create pieces that does not only touch the heart on a personal level but also benefit others on an intellectual and tarbawi manner.

Doakan Sabreena membesar dengan baik, emotionally, spiritually and also in maturity. She's 23 already, so she needs to stop addressing herself as a 3rd person - sounds less cute but more childish considering the age (haha).

Salam alaik peeps, till I write again inshaAllah.