Among the many things

It's quite silly - if not annoying - how I am still trying to make ends meet between my former self with the me now, when I am already definitely aware of the distinct clear cut between what I should do and what I want to do. Every time I am face with such a dilemma, I cannot help myself but to use the idea that "People regret more not taking chances rather than making mistakes." Although this is how we picture the best method of learning to be, 'learning from your mistake' might not always be the smartest decision to make when you are conscious of the consequences your actions might bring.

I am very weak. And for the past 3 years in my life, I have made favours more than I can return them. And believe me, the prospect of asking for help when I know I can push myself harder, is never healthy in the long run. Allah countlessly reminded me of the many occasions in which I should have done A instead of doing B. That instead of my own happiness, I should do what He pleases and what better way to gain peace of mind than knowing you did what was right despite facing a temporary ache that will fade away by His will.

There is so much I wish to do, be and discover in this world. But among the many things I have encircling my mind every now and then is to follow His guidance fully - something I struggle with since day one of living. Ya Rabb, it is indeed a strenous, tiring, exhausting, painful life being here in Dunya, but I am sure that if there is any reward of comfort, luxury and ease will always, and only be, given in the Gardens of Paradise - Jannah. 

I pray all our amal are accepted, and may they be the best we can give to Him in order to even smell a tinge of what Paradise holds.

Ameen.