Writings

I have found that Hlovate and Inche Gabbana have been those two writers that have inspired me, more than anyone, to write and believe in change.

And they are - despite being anonymous to a certain degree - have given a significant impact on my teen memories.

And so I have decided, to continue writing, with hopes that one day I can be as wonderful as they are, in DnT and also in inspiring people with my writing.

Biiznillah.

For the Days I Would Need This

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I can never begin without those miraculous words.
*smiles*

Well, they say write for days that you would need these words. And after so long of having words stuck in my head, never having the guts to pen them down, I am finally writing back again. Women, I might say, write more of their experiences and how they emotionally feel over a situation or a life experience. And to me, writing of such objective, heavy and substantial matter does not allow me to have a smooth flow of thoughts as I have to severally go through articles and mountain-loads of information in order to generate a solid opinion on a subject matter.

Thus, to keep the ball rolling, and also my fingers typing (insanely), I shall choose to speak for my own need before trailing of somewhere that I have no ability - nor fondness, to write about.

I'm in my third year now of being a medical student, and so far life has been a thrilling experience altogether. Many things happened during the hiatus and gaps of my blog posts that I simply cannot speak of nonchalantly. However, it does not correspond to the amount of happiness, excitement and enlightenment that I have endured which probably, a normal person in this era would definitely spawn countless FB status, Insta posts and tweets describing such events. The times shared are priceless, and all I can say is that

I am blessed. Inside, out. Heart and body. Mind and soul.

Despite all the positive energy I radiate in the words mentioned above, I no doubt have also face a number of depressing events which in relation to all the beautiful things I've been through, is just a pinch of salt as a comparison. I'm not always like this. But tonight alhamdulillah, with Ali Sastra's song Doaku in the background, I am compelled to write on this piece of canvas - a note for myself. Something that I can read over, and over again when I feel doubtful, scared and lost. Something that could probably come second or third after getting consoled by the Quran.

Here's a picture of a cat so that I can laugh at my own randomness one day.

Dear Sabreena,

This note is for you. And everything else in it, I believe, will benefit you and many more people.

*smiles*

It has been proven that, one of the many therapies done to make people feel more happy of their lives is to start counting their blessings. And we will not go with the term 'too much blessings, can't count them' kind-of-attitude. Instead, let us list down those that are relevant to you.

Things you should be grateful:-

1. For knowing that Allah exists, and believing in it

2. For Islam and iman

3. For your parents

4. For your limbs and cognition; the ability to move and the ability to articulate

5. For being able to study something that you like

6. For being able to continue your education itself

7. For tarbiyyah :')

8. For having a murabbi, usrahmates, and the understanding to do dakwah

9. For your friends

10. For being able to understand, comprehend, and make sense of the many things you come across in life

11. For having shelter, enough food, water and sanitation

12. For being excepted in society and not being violently excluded

13. For clear vision and having the ability to appreciate colours

14. For wanting to live under the shade of Quran rather than a life of following my own whim

And so much more!

This list is just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine all the cells working in your body working hard to keep you alive. The probability of them going bonkers is so high yet Allah chose to not spread any malignancy inside you and allows you to live a healthy is in itself a huge blessing.

Apatah lagi apabila menyebut tentang tarbiyah dan segala yang dipelajari melaluinya. It's no longer a majlis ilmu that you attend to fill your head with new knowledge. It's a place that nurtures your heart and thoughts, shaping it to view the world beyond what is seen by the naked eye. Beyond time, beyond space, beyond the limits a normal person views it. It's not just about knowing that Jannah and Jahannam exist. It's not just about knowing that the Day of Judgement is sure to come. It's believing that it will happen, being afraid of the day itself instills a fear to move forward - and that is such a rewarding feeling. When the whole world is battling against each other over policies to make in dealing with alcohol consumption and world famine, homicides and suicides, you know a remedy that can cure all the world problems. You're working to cure the root of the problem - iman - within yourself and others as well.

You are blessed
Because of all the prayers people make for you
Those who are anonymous to you

And especially, from those who love you endlessly

So dear Sabreena,

And everybody else reading this.

Remember that you are loved, and you are cared for. Not simply by those you can see by your naked eye. But by a being far more superior. And He never stops loving.

And for that, all praises be to Him - Alhamdulillah.

Ranks

Embracing Islam

You are called a Muslim

But not all Muslims are Mu'mins

And not all Mu'mins can become Muhsins

Before Allah ranks us,

how do we rank ourselves really?

And we keep on saying

till Jannah

.

.

till Jannah

.

.

till Jannah

Are we actually working for it

or are we merely repeating words like a chant?

Long hours

Studying till late at night
Reading books, not only medical books but all sorts of other articles

Sleeping on the bus
Sometimes late at night, sometimes really early in the morning

Thinking about ideas
While cooking, while walking to the university

Zikr
Always, always, always

These are long hours spent in the name of Allah
Long hours that I wish I can be able to say that I did the best for Him

*smiles*

Prahara menjadi Anugerah

Seringkali apabila kita jatuh dalam kecundang maksiat
Kita fikir bahawa kita sudah capai satu tahap yang sangat rendah
Maka kita seolah mahu lari menyembunyikan diri
Ujian yang dihadapi terlalu pedih dan berat
Kita putus asa
Kita menangis
Kita lumpuh, tidak mampu bangun

Namun begitu
Kenapa kita seolah lupa bahawa Allah itu Maha Penerima Taubat?
Kenapa kita seolah mengingkari hakikat Dia Maha Penyayang?

We assume He hates us
We assume that we'll be sent to Jahannam at that moment
But think about it

After every mistake and downfall
We're never cut off from the oxygen we breathe
Our respiratory muscles never cease to work
Nor did our heart stop beating
The house ceiling didn't crumble on us
Nor did we die the minute we were committing those sins

Keinginan dan kesudahan kita melakukan maksiat itu adalah suatu ujian
Yang harus kita putarkan menjadi suatu anugerah
Anugerah utk kembali kepada Dia
Sebagai indikator bahawa kita harus semakin teguh memasang benteng iman
Sebagai peringatan bahawa kita lemah dan hanya kepada Dia kita harus berlindung kepada

Ayuh kawan-kawan
Mari kita ubah prahara itu menjadi anugerah

Allahu musta'an

:)

Merindui roadtrip ke Southampton bersama Kak A dan Ukht I. Uhuk

Hidup semula

Sungguh perkumpulan bersama mereka lewat hari semalam benar-benar merupakan nikmat yang besar. Memasuki ruang-ruang yang tersergam indah di masjid ini membuatkan hati yang longlai dan lemah kembali bernafas semula.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Despite the traffic
Despite the time constraints
Despite the strained eyes and muscle aches

Alhamdulillah ala kulli nikmah

:)

Tada Hitotsu Dake Aru

Bismillah.

In this life, we are left to make choices. These choices can either be those that are easy to make, whereas others could take a lifetime to make. And for what should these choices be made range from the simplest ordeal on what to wear for class till what should be done with the remaining time we have living this life.

How people deal with these choices also differ from one person to another, because as unique as we are created as individuals, the way we view certain situations also varies. These differences; in making choices, in the way we look at situations and grade their difficulty, however, all has a ground rule that can be laid upon.

This also differs for a lot of people. But based on the observations I've made for the past 22 years living this life (yes, I turned 22 on June 16th if I may say. Uhu) is that you will follow either:-

1. Your own judgments, experience, emotions, rationality, etc. Basically, you will decide based on personal thoughts.
2. External factors ranging from an input from other people to the circumstances that you are currently living in - funds, social stigma, culture, etc.

Now, all of these thought processes are not wrong and in fact, many of us fail to realize how much of a big impact these notions bring about in our daily life. In fact, these factors that I would like to call 'earthly' connections bind us ever so tightly to this world that it governs our thoughts and further controls our behavior. I might not be a graduate of Human Psychology but I know this much that the power of the mind is unbelievable and how by belief, a person can be dealt to the extremes yet still be able to persevere or deter altogether.

Belief = Iman

Thus, knowing so much, especially to those whom have studied the Deen (a little bit or so like me), where do we lie our beliefs in in making the choices we inevitably have to make?

Is it based on what Allah and Rasul had taught us?

Is it based on what came from a higher source of being or just our own ignorant, earthly self?

Think about it, if we look at the world similarly to how Donald Trump and Bashar Al-Asad looks at things then we are merely cowards as they are too - afraid of humans, afraid of being trampled upon. Fear, greed and power governs us and we will only battle their ideals out of of fear that we would be harassed and removed from our homes. If we look at the world similarly to how business-people, politicians and so-called modern idealists look at the world, then we would just be progressing based on a communist industry that feeds upon economical growth only without any thoughts upon social dependency and livelihood. Nevertheless, if we merely look at the world as social activists and environmental-peace-lovers, we will be unable to properly subdue the nation and bring it to prosperity in the long run.

So really, how should we look at the world?
How should we make our choices to do with our lives?
How and why should we even care?

"...It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allah.."
(Surah Fatir, 35:28)

"..'Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority'..."
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:30)

Only with knowledge will we know who we are,
Where are we going,
What we should do,
Why are we doing this.

Because all these questions linger among us, we can't lie. Be it a Muslim or an Agnostic, we need to deal with these questions instead of running away from it. So learn, and read. Find the Deen, the way of life and a life worth living.

Because there is no use fighting a war that we are sure to lose, and there is no use staying still while everybody else fights. And surely, what a waste it is if we fail to realize that we are fighting a war all this while.

And for me, as this Ramadhan ends there is only one thing that I wish to remain doing for the rest of my life.

Being His 'abid and upholding my duties as a 'khalif.

*smiles*